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COVID Weeping and Sweating

I was diagnosed with COVID-19 on Tuesday, December 15, 2020.

So far weird COVID stuff:

🎉Loss of taste and smell is weird. It’s not the same as when you get a cold and can’t taste/smell anything. It just started yesterday and at first I thought I had just burned my tongue on the soup I made. I didn’t want to believe it. Maybe I’ll lose some weight.

🎁Spent 20 minutes on Tuesday night making a giant pot of chicken soup and by the time I finished my fever was up, I was sweating profusely, shaking, and short of breath.

🎈Sleep panic is super weird

Don’t know actually if that’s a symptom of covid but for the past 3 days every time I fall sleep for a few minutes, I jerk awake gasping for breath. After several hours of this I finally fall asleep and stay sleeping where I have terrible dreams.

🍾 Weeping at the slightest provocation. Like a lot.

I won’t bore you with the regular sick people stuff. It’s all the other things that you experience with a bad virus. If I’m being honest, which I always try to be, I’m afraid of what the long term effects of this will be. What will happen with my POTs? Will my husband have significant issues with his diabetes? Getting through illness is just the beginning for some people. Trying not to to go down the rabbit hole with this but I can’t help worrying. Praying for an improvement in the affordability of healthcare in the new year and beyond.

Please, please wash hands, stay home, hug your people when you can because when you can’t it’s truly awful. I’m convinced the only thing that has kept our children as well adjusted as they have been through all this is the endless amount of affection and face time they get from us throughout the day and now we are locked in our bedroom. They are strong but it’s only been a couple of days and it’s unbearable how much I miss them.

I will refrain from saying all the things I’m feeling about folks who lament that having to wear a mask or stay inside is akin to living in communist Russia. I will instead remind everyone that this nation was once united on the principle that it was an honor to make personal sacrifices for the good of all (well for the good of most). During wars and other crises we have rationed food, personal items, and asked people to work and volunteer to do jobs they had never done before so that the nation could survive, heal, and we could all reap the bounty. While we all know this nation has its inherent and consistent flaws, one of our greatest traits historically has been the willingness to band together in times of need. Being asked to make individual sacrifices for the good of all for a limited amount of time is not communism it’s how a nation remains powerful. Being angry about being asked to make those sacrifices is selfish and short-sighted. Well I guess I didn’t refrain. Blame it on the COVID.

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Carrie Hartwell
Carrie Hartwell
Dec 21, 2020

I am so sorry to hear that you’re sick! I know you know this, but as another person who is regularly on the anxiety train, try to focus on the issues that are occurring now rather than the hypothetical ones! I always try to remember that our bodies and brains can’t tell the difference in actual hardship/stressors and hypothetical hardship/stressors, and so they will respond the same way to both (stress hormones, limbic system goes into high gear, etc.) Again, I know you are very well-versed in trauma, but I share this just because it’s a little something that helps me to remember not to live through (emotionally and physically) something bad 50 times that may or may not eve…

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